Hermann Hesse wrote “If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself”. One simple truth that has transformed my life is that we see our own reflections in other people. May it be something that annoys you about the person or something that you find beautiful in him or her, we always project our own inner worlds onto the outer. How can it be applied to the process of self-realisation and growth? Well I personally look at it as a fun process of purifying myself from all toxic habits and it all starts with an honest self-observation. Let's say you criticise your friend's hair, or a tendency to be judgemental, doesn't matter you said it out loud or in your head, catch yourself at that moment, become self aware, try to spot that same feature in yourself and be honest. You will be surprised how many insecurities are deeply hiding within us, we just start to notice them once we encounter a person that activates the characteristics we are ashamed of, not proud of or simply because we fear the idea of it.
It taught me to be more compassionate, towards myself and my friends. When I am being criticised by someone, it doesn't make me feel angry or resentful because I know where that comes from. The harsh things people are telling me are simply indicators of how they talk to themselves in their heads first which instantly allows to see from a bigger picture and brings up a sense of compassion. We simply allow ourselves to talk about the others the same way we talk to ourselves. Similarly like dogs bark at their own reflection in the mirror, purely, because they assume it's another dog, so are us, barking at each other, being frightened by our own reflections.
What about the insecurities you've figured out you have? If during any conversation I notice weakness in a person, that I realise, in heart, I do own as well, I try to be utterly compassionate. I believe that gracefully acknowledged thoughts save us from beating ourselves up after. For some reason, our minds positively react to the expressed ideas, the ones we become aware of, especially if we write it down or say it out loud, it really has a cleansing ability that helps to let go quicker and reduces chances of coming face to face with that fear or weakness again.
Just popped up this idea that perhaps the ability to react to my own self-reflection could be the trigger hiding behind the continuous fights with my twin sister. Well who wouldn't be annoyed to see their weaknesses 24/7 without any breaks? It is irritating to be reminded of your fears all the time that I haven't found courage to deal with yet.
And also, that really shows that all our human experience is manifested through connection really, we are human beings only by being in a relationship with one another. Without the naughty reflection, we wouldn't be able to see the comparison and so it means no evaluation, self-analysis or improvement in any way. Sadly, this mindset is not that widely spread and is something we really miss in the social media with the public feed being flooded with negativity and criticism.
